It has been 4 months since I have been dating this really cool guy.He was however in a serious relationship with a girl for 3 years before me .They broke up 8 months before we started dating on cordial terms.He still has her on his Facebook friend list and she occasionally likes his post.They are not in contact otherwise and my bf is surely over her.The problem is I stalk her.I have checked my bf ‘s old emails and tagged photos to see what type of relationship they had.As much as he loves me I feel insecure sometimes that they had a great relationship and it makes me compare.I check her social media account almost everyday to see what she is upto,etc,.Is that normal?I don’t know why i do it, I just do it.It is not harming my relationship in any way and my bf and I are great but I feel guilty doing so.”
As much as I don’t encourage stalking your partner’s ex, I have to admit it is normal.Every girl does it.Every girl,no matter how much she denies it,has stalked her bf’s ex or even her ex’s current gf be it on facebook,instagram,twitter ,etc.It is usually out of sheer curiosity and need to prove to yourself you are better than her.There is no need to feel guilty about doing so.
Having said that, you are wasting a lot of time and effort in doing so.It is normal to do it sometimes but not always.There is a reason why she is an ex and why you are in your partners life now.There is no reason for you to feel insecure unless your bf is constantly in touch with here which in your case is not.
Secondly, stalking their past will do nothing but harm you.You feel jealous of seeing them happy together in the past.It is hard to digest the person you love, loving someone else once.This will just lead you to compare his attraction level for you,both in the bedroom and outside.You will also tend to try and find things about her which are not so nice to make yourself feel better.My advice is don’t do that.You are just creating negativity around you.Everyone has a past and everyone loved someone in their past, even you.It is unfair for you to compare.Plus every relationship is different.As long as your partner is loyal and loving to you which you can know best , you have no reason to compare.
Also, if you are fearing your bf will leave you for his ex or will think that she was better than you, then perhaps you doubt your own relationship and your partner.It is not his ex’s fault.If he has to leave you, he will , no matter what.Stalking and stressing will not help.If you have concerns or you are uncomfortable about something, talk to your boyfriend and clear it rather than having thoughts behind his back and causing worry to yourself.It will just tear you up inside.
So remember, to stalk sometimes is normal.Everyone does that , even men, but to be obsessed with it to a level where you passively get agitated and compare is harmful.Always talk and communicate with your partner directly if you have slightest bit of insecurity or doubt rather than relying on hints from the social media.If your bf loves you, he will understand and help you to alleviate your fears,
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“Your boyfriend is talking to his ex, read here to find out how to deal with it“
Also, check out the reasons to re-consider being friends with your ex