“It was just a kiss” – Is kissing considered cheating?

“It was a mistake,” you said. But the cruel thing was, it felt like the mistake was mine, for trusting you.”
― David LevithanThe Lover’s Dictionary

I have received a few emails recently from couples that have asked me if their partner can be forgiven for kissing someone else and to be honest, my response is always standard-Kissing is an intimate act and any form of intimacy with another while you are in a relationship is cheating.But forgiveness may depend.[pullquote]Kissing is an intimate act and any form of intimacy with another while you are in a relationship is cheating. But forgiveness may depend.[/pullquote]First of all, let us get the basics right. When you are in a committed relationship, flirting in a sexual way, kissing, close dancing, thinking about someone else when you are with your partner or having sex with another is considered being unfaithful. I know many people who say-“ oh it was just a kiss, not like I had sex or something so it’s not cheating”.

Cheating is not just about sex. It is anything that you do that you would not like your partner to do to you. It could also be an emotional affair. If you are sharing things and spending time more with another guy or girl than you are with your partner or if you trust someone else of the opposite sex more than your partner, this could be termed as an emotional affair and also hurt your significant other even though it is not physical.

Basically, cheating is an intention.It is an intention to treat someone as you would treat the person you love.If you are doing something with someone else that is supposed to be exclusive to your partner, it is cheating.

So what about kissing?

Well, it is never “just a kiss” as some people say. The moment when you say, “ it was just a kiss” itself shows your insincerity towards the issue, which is unpardonable. Behind that kiss, is always a desire to hookup or an underlying problem, dissatisfaction or unhappiness in your current relationship, which is built up within and ultimately leads to an act of cheating.

It’s not just a kiss. You flirt, you prepare, you act and then you let go. It has multiple steps involved and one cannot blame it completely on alcohol, which is the most common reason kisser cheaters give.

Should you then forgive your partner if they have kissed someone? This, as I say, would depend. Context is everything.

For example, you flirted with a girl , perhaps drank and then kissed her. That would be an outright cheating because you started flirting knowing your partner would not like it. There was no need to flirt in the first place as that action was deliberate and it gave the wrong signal to the opposite sex. This was intentional and hence forgiveness is hard.

In every such case, it is important to know the reason it happened. Why did it happen? Was it a choice or was there alcohol involved? Was it because of lack of love or were the reasons different?

I had a case where a girl went out with her friends to celebrate a friend’s hen party. She did not go with the intention of flirting or hooking up. But somewhere down the night after drinking massively, even without realizing she was making out with another guy on the dance floor. The moment she realized she stopped and walked away, disgusted at herself more than anything.

Did she hurt her partner? Yes. Did she make a mistake? Yes.Is this cheating? Of course. Does she deserve a second chance? Depends on her partner. Why should she be forgiven? – She made a mistake, yes but her intention perhaps was never to hurt her partner and now it is up to him to analyze if this can be fixed together.

The girl did not go to the party to cheat on her boyfriend or thinking she wanted to hook up.In fact, she did not even like the guy she made out with nor did she have much memory of it. Sometimes alcohol clouds our judgment and makes us do things that we don’t even want to do but they are often good indicators of an underlying issue. The girl was ready to do anything to fix this. Seeing her sincerity her partner decided to forgive her and go for counseling together. He was not ready to waste the happy years behind them.

During the counseling sessions, the couple realized they had an underlying issue. As much as they loved each other, the girl expressed loneliness, as her boyfriend was a workaholic. As much as she never intended to kiss anyone, her need for affection was subdued within her and emerged under the influence of alcohol. Together they decided to work it out and make amends. The girl cut down on her drinking habits and gave up going out without her significant other. She took all measures to make sure it did not ever happen again. She knew alcohol took better of her so she ensured she avoided any situation where she would lose her balance to differentiate right from wrong. She did whatever it took to re-instill the trust in her partner. It was difficult and it took time but her boyfriend was mature enough to understand that they could rebuild their relationship to an even healthier one. He too started paying more attention to her and this worked in favor for both of them.

This of course in no way justifies what the girl did nor am I trying to say that you must forgive your partner. What I am trying to say is look at the context and sincerity of your partner to make amends and weigh if it is truly worth another shot. Ask yourself within and go with your gut.

We all make mistakes. What we must remember though is that mistakes happen only once. As a human, it is sometimes fair to give a second chance depending on the circumstances.What we must not forget is that if it happens a second time, it is not a mistake. It is intentional. [pullquote]What we must not forget is that if it happens a second time, it is not a mistake. It is intentional.[/pullquote] You might get drunk once and kiss. Your partner may or may not forgive you. But if you get drunk the second time, your partner has every right to say” if you knew alcohol does that to you, you should have made an effort to not drink” and leave you for good. Alcohol cannot always be an excuse.

As much as every couple is different and so is their story, there are few fundamentals important in any relationship – the will to be honest, committed and faithful.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

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69 thoughts on ““It was just a kiss” – Is kissing considered cheating?

  1. in 30 married years we have had our ups and downs and my partner has kissed another two times in those 30 years about 12 years apart. How should i deal with this if my partner says they promise never again and that they are crying about the situation. They were friends and i was being to over bearing in our marriage

    1. What does your gut say? Does you partner make you more happy than sad or the other way round? Was the kiss situational, under the influence of external substance or with an intention. Ask yourself this question before you decide. What makes you happy should answer your question.

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  2. I’m a 16 year old girl and on Friday night I went to a party and consumed the most amount of alcohol I ever have. I’ve been in a relationship with a boy now for 3 months and I’m completely in love with him, but at this party I made out with another guy. I was only told this by my friend and the guy the next day, as I had no recollection of it happening whatsoever. I’ve known the guy for a while and he’s my friend, but I’ve never fancied him nor had any intention to kiss him. I’m really struggling at the moment because I saw my boyfriend the next day and he has no idea. It cemented that fact that I love him and I never want him to find out about what I did because I fear he’ll never forgive me and our relationship will end. Only a few people know; the guy I kissed, my bestfriend, and 2 people he told. They’ve promised not to tell anyone and I trust they won’t, however my bestfriend is pressuring me into telling my boyfriend because it’s not fair on him and I should face whatever consequences my actions deserve. Sorry for such a long explanation, but right now I’m lost and really panicking as to what to do.

    1. Hi Alex,
      This happens and I understand what you feel. This is a tricky one.I completely believe in truth but in different situations I have advised people differently. I have cases where clients have kissed someone even without realising they have under the influence of alcohol and yes like you, they have no feelings for the person they have kissed.It is hard to jeopardize a 8-9 years relationship for a mistake. I have advised them to not tell their partners but learn from it and vow to never have alcohol this way but in your case I am going to tell you to tell your bf. Yes it is scary and yes you might lose him but he does deserve to know.He rather hear it from you than anyone else. How sure are you your friends will never tell him at any point.He will get angry but he might forgive you. It is worth taking the chance.Tell him how you don’t remember it, tell him how you regret it and tell him how you have no feelings for the guy. Promise him that you will only go out and drink with him and if you do go out alone, you will keep a check on alcohol.
      Be sorry and mean it.See he will definitely end up knowing it somehow. The world is small and it’s best he hears it from you and your sincerity towards it never happening again.The most important things is that you realise it,regret it and you know it is wrong. You are young right now and you will face a lot of these uncomfortable situations in life and so will he. These things will happen and that’s how you learn. Tell him the truth and convince him you only love him. Put your ego aside on this. IF he sees your sincerity he will forgive you. Let me know if you have more questions and how it goes.

    2. I think you should tell him it’s not fair to lie about something like that lying will only make it worse when he finds out and believe me he will find out so tell the truth and face the consequences of your actions that why drinking is dumb it messes your judgement up

  3. My boyfriend of two years went out last week and lied about where he was going. I was told he was going to his friends house and that he would be staying there. I found out four days later that this was a lie. He went to a bar with his friends and kissed another girl. He said it was because I am not intimate with him and he needed affection. I work three jobs, have class and homework everyday, and he doesn’t work at all, I guess you could say that “He was lonely.” I don’t know who started the flirting, who initiated the kiss, or even what type of kiss it was. We have been having issues lately with trust and being happy, but I have been trying my best to let him do the things he wants and trying to provide things for him that will make him happier. Should I stay with him? If I do, how would I go about him regaining my trust?

    1. If he needed affection he should have spoken to you about it. Trust comes with communication. If you are not happy with your partner, speak to him or her or call it quits. Doing things behind the back can lead to mistrust. But again every relationship is different, if you feel this will never happen again and the issues can be sported, speak to him but if deep down you believe you won’t be able to trust him, then maybe it is a decision you should make.

    2. Dear carmen.
      You working, going to class, having homework. not a lot of time left should not be a problem for him in a way that he can Just cheat on You. It surprised me that You dont know the whole story. The details will make some differens here. Anyway You should never feel like You need to please him in any way that You do not fully want. If You dont want intimisie sometimes then its a no for him. Dont please him extra because he cheated. If You feel like You can trust him, then I think You should try to maybe fix it together. And If You dont, I dont see any reason to be together. You can love him but Trust is everything.

  4. I’m 21, have been in a relationship for 4 years. Recently, we had a major fight and fixed several things that were going wrong in our relationship. But sometime in december he kissed a coworker he was becoming sexually attracted to. He told me that he immediately felt disgusted with himself and guilty afterwards. I just found out about this kiss, which he said was just a kiss and he immediately stopped going further.

    Now, I knew about this girl before I knew he had gone so far as to kiss her. And he’s since broke off all contact… but I still feel like shit. I can’t trust him with other girls, and I worry this will happen again. I know he was feeling sexually neglected, but a kiss is more than just sex, as you’ve said.

    I don’t want to break up with him. We’ve had many happy times together. But I’m not sure how to forgive him. What can I do?

    1. Your bf was honest with you and that is important. Having said that you mistakes can only be made once. If you feel this is the first time he has ever broken your trust and he was sincerely sorry maybe you should give this another shot considering when this happened both of you were having fights and issues. Sometimes we should try and fix things rather than throw it away especially if deep down you know it is precious. Talk to him and figure out why it happened and how you can solve these issues so it doesn’t happen in the future.

  5. I’ve been with my high school sweet heart for 12yrs we have 3 kids together she’s has been a stay at home mom for most of our time together she just recently started working and I have noticed some changes in her behavior we are 29 and she works with a bunch of younger kids 18+. She has told me has shared some of our personal business to one of her coworkers (male) which I right away told her was a no no. We had a lil little arguement and she left she later came home and she had met up with him and had a coffee and smoked at Starbucks I furious and told her that that she was emotionally cheating on me and that that wasn’t ok. I got passed that and recently found that they have been communicating via social media and have actually made out before. My anger got the the best of me and I packed all her things and told her to leave…… Thing is that I love her want her but I think j can’t trust her anymore which is the foundation of a relationship. She works with him and I she can’t quit her job due to bills. I don’t know what to do

  6. My wife and I have been together for 11 years and have two kids. We have had big problems that has led to fights were we have beaten ourselves and I’m ashamed of my actions for whatever it was I did. I asked for forgiveness and she forgave. Over the years I have learned to control my aggression by going out alone to ventilate but my wife and I have been together for 11 years. We have had big problems that has led to fights were we have beaten ourselves and I’m ashamed to say of my actions for whatever it was I did it I asked for forgiveness and she did. Over the years I have learned to control my aggression by going out alone to ventilate but the arguments still happend. On 2/23/2016 she told me she wanted to go to her sister’s house, my friend came over to visit and offered us some weed, I declined but she accepted. She then took off, she returned an hour latter at 0035 and started to cry. I asked her “what’s wrong?” she told me I need to talk to you in private” so we got in the car and drove of to a park, there told me she shouldn’th ave smoke that weed because she now feels she should tell me things she hasn’t Told me before. I asked her “please tell me” she replied “but you’re not gonna look at me the same way” due to her being high she spilled everything. She told me she has made out with four guys during our time together, four times with her ex on seperate ocations, once with who I used to consider my friend, three times with someone She new from highschool and the most resent one a guy she knew from elementary wich she has been seeing for a month. My wife told me she wasn’t planning on telling me because she was gonna end it and she felt it was something not important and she rather deal with it on her own in fear of me judging and possibly leaving her. The reason why she did what she did with the last two guys was because of me hitting her and the first to because she was in the moment and did not plan on doing that, I told her that is no excuse for what she did, I would have much preferred her beat me to a pulp than what she did(figure of speach) we should have talked about her feelings and inability to let go so we can solve these problems like adults. She told me she told him about what she has been through with me to wich he responder by kicking her out of his house as he called her a fuck up and that she was stupid for being with me. We talked for two days and asked me why was I so upset about it, and if it helped in any way she has not had sex with no one but me. I let her know that I felt like she betrayed me, that she stabbed me on the back, that she has allowed people to invade our relationship and marriage and I could not trust her any more and felt our marriage shouldn’t go any further. I felt I was willing to give her another chance. She said she needed to see this guy one more time to end this for good, I allowed her to go she left today on 2/24/16 at 08:15 she said the would not take long but came cack till 13:08. During those time periods she called me twice once to tell me she was gonna talk with the guy, the other to tell me I am the one. I told her “you already took 3 hours, it doesnt take 3 hours to tell someone to leave you alone. By the way Adrian(our son) gets out at 11am today” she replied”ok ok I’ll Pick him up” I called the school and she did but didn’t Return home. I called her non stop she did not answer, I texted she did not reply. My suspicions and paranoia kicked in to over drive “did she took my son with her back with that asshole, how dare she?” I whent to my son’s school wich is also my daughter’s school and waited there all while I called and texted with no response. She did not show up, so I took my daughter back home. I called her one more time and she answered. “What happened?” I was furious as I responded “where the fuck are you?! You told me you were not gonna take long” she responded I had to talk with him” I interrupted her “about what! All gou said you were gonna say was; I’m sorry, I cant see you. Don’t contact me again. You told me you don’t have feelings For him but now I’m beginning to think other wise, Where are you?!” she responded “I’ve Been next to the kids school” I replied “don’t You bullshit me, I’ve been waiting There for an hour. I already picked up Evelyn(our daughter) get your ass home now!” she responded “but?” and I interrupted “now!” she got home 20 minutes leater at 13:08 (may I add that our children’s school is 2-3 minutes from home) I was raging and told he “you asured me you would not take long but you took all morning and to top it off you ignored my calls and texts. Put yourself in my shoes, what would you think. This is why I can no longer trust you” she told me “nothing bad happened” but I can’t shake the feeling she is lying to me again and that she was doing something with him which is why she took so much time. I know I’ve been a horrible person but I thought that me and her have gone past that by me asking for her forgiveness and her for giving me in return but if she has done this countless times in the past and recently what’s to stop her from doing it again.the day before I asked her if he had her phone number she said no but today in the morning he called her and texted her and she had nothing to say while I stared at her. These fillings are killing me, eating away at my sanity as I can no longer think straight. I don’t know what to do anymore, I love her but I feel the biggest betrayal I have ever experienced in my life and that’s causing me and I can no longer see her in the same light that I used to. I fear she’s going to do this again and then me for being in love with her will be totally oblivious to this. I have never cheated on her even though I’ve had many opportunities to do so. I consider our marriage sacred even though I’m atheist but it doesn’t seem that to her it is.

    1. Relationships are built on the foundations of trust. Now in reality your wife has hammered on that foundation on multiple occasions, and it has come to a point where you have little to no trust or respect for her. Granted she is the mother of your kids, you simply can’t trust her. The fact that she’s able to lie so easily is the clearest sign you’ll ever see my friend that she’s unfaithful. Sure you’ve had your ups and downs, but your working past it, however, the fact that your wife has gone and done this is shocking. I think the best thing for you is to take a break, spend some time away from each other where you can figure out what you really need and what you deserve from a marriage. Let her also come to terms with her actions, and the fact that she has repeatedly hurt you, and the fact that she did it on more than 1 occasion suggests she knew what it would do to you and she intended to hurt you. In my personal experience, I’d probably divorce her, however I’m not married so I wouldn’t know the full consequence from that action. All I can say is do what’s best for the children and you. You all deserve a mother that can be trusted and loves you all dearly.

  7. hi there, really hoping someone could help me out and give me some advice. Basically I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and lately things were going pretty well with us, but a few days ago he came over looking completely devastated saying that his coworker had kissed him and he momentarily kissed back. He told me about it almost hours after it happened which I very much appreciate but now I’m left very conflicted. He was crying saying I should break up with him because he doesn’t think I deserve that kind of treatment and I got annoyed at him for a bit for not even wanting to try to work through it, which he responded by saying he didn’t deserve to be forgiven. He has a bad habit of being very nice and flirty with others without realizing and when girls flirt with him he doesn’t stop it and I genuinely believe that he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. After this whole incident I asked him if he finally realized how he’s making girls think they have a chance and he admitted that now he realizes what I’ve been saying after all this time. What I find crazy is that in past experiences, even while drunk, when a girl started flirting with him (when he actually realizes it’s flirting) he shut it down immediately. This time he was simply just leaving work with a coworker and he reciprocated briefly before pulling away. He now is beating himself up about it and questioning his integrity because he can’t figure out why he let it happened. When we taked about it, he admitted that things have been going pretty well with us lately which makes the incident even more confusing, but maybe there’s some underlying problem that we both don’t see. But I really don’t know anymore, I’m just very sad and confused at this point. In my heart I almost instantly forgave him because I really do believe he feels sorry and I appreciate that he didn’t even waste any time before confessing. I just don’t want this to be the thing that kills the relationship but I also don’t want to be too forgiving because I do believe this is an issue. But as of right now I’m just very confused on what to do, we spoke for hours last night and I decided I needed some days to sleep on this and decide what to do. Ideally I hope we can move past this and have this incident make us even closer but right now I just don’t know how to get there. So if anyone has any kind of input or advice, anything would be welcome.

  8. Hi im rashonim 17 and im in high school so last wedsday i kissed the girl that ive tried to get for a year now we were in school and we talked about why im not going to buy her chipotle and after that i kissed her on the cheek and i already have a gf and so now i feel bad and i dont wanba loose the girl i have now also is it possible to have 1 of ur urges to come out even tho you have it supressed so should i tell her please help me i dont wanna lose the 1 i love for a girl who has been playing with my emotions

  9. Hi,
    This might be a long post, please bear with me.
    This happened months back and I need to have a different perspective now.
    We have been friends since childhood and together for over 3 years now and more or less we have always been in a long distance relationship (as I moved out for grad). I recently had to move to a new city due to work.
    It was a friend’s party where she went and stayed the night. The next day also she stayed at her friend’s place only. Most of the people had left the next day except a few close friends. They stayed there and were catching up as they were all meeting after a long time. She called me and said they were insisting on staying another night. She stayed. We didn’t talk that night. She wouldn’t reply to my texts or pick my call. I slept off waiting for her. The next morning when I woke up I found a text—“I kissed XYZ.”
    I didn’t know what to react to that now.
    He was in her college and they have been friends (not very great though), and she always said that she found him very attractive. When I asked about the incident, she said they were alone and she felt like having a kiss, and since he was her friend, she was comfortable with it and hence she did!! They made out, then they talked and slept off…..!!!
    And the very fact that she wasn’t sorry for it the next day, hurt me really bad.
    She said she was sorry that it hurt me so bad but not for the act of doing it.
    There was no alcohol involved, it was an informed decision.
    I was really shaken up (and even after all these months I still am).
    I decided to end us, but she said she didn’t know the magnanimity of the situation as it was just a kiss. Once she realized how deep and how hard this struck me, she was in tears and sorry. She promised never to repeat such a thing ever again.
    I am still with her but I don’t trust her now and get paranoid easily. I told her this that it won’t get back to same ever again and I will have a hard time trusting you again. She said “Yes, I own up what I did and I know it will take a long time or maybe never to win back your trust. But I will go to any extent to make things better and get us back to how we were!”
    We actually were very happy together but this incident has stirred up things now. A part of me wants to forgive and forget and move on by giving a second chance to us. I love her a lot, always have and I know I always will but I don’t know how to deal with this right now. All those things, how I felt that day, all this keeps coming back and haunting me.
    A little insight from your side would help.
    Thanks in advance for listening and responding.

  10. Hello my names Carolina im 14 years and this passed December my boyfriend went to Alabama to visit his family and on New Years he was with a girl and he from her bottle of Smirnoff and he took her home and dropped her off but he first asked her for a kiss and this really lowered my self esteem and we have talked about it and he’s says he’s sorry but I just feel like there’s more and sometimes I stay up late crying because I’m not pretty enough or I feel like she’s better. Is that considered cheating?

    1. You are definitely better than that. A relationship is supposed to make you feel valued and good about yourself. If it is not, you should perhaps speak to your partner about it and figure it out if it is worth working it out by putting in effort from both ends or better to move on.

    2. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but yeah it is. Don’t let that lower your self-esteem. I’m sure you are beautiful, and if your boyfriends not taking every second of the day to make sure you feel that way, than he doesn’t deserve you.

  11. Hi, I’m a 18 year old girl and my boyfriend recently broke up with me two days ago. So he’s my 17 year old ex. But I really want to work things out with him one day…but the thing is there’s a guy who’s said he really wants to kiss me, and I feel like I might want to kiss him just to try it (my ex is the second person I’ve ever kissed). Would it be wrong to kiss this guy if we’re broken up but hoping to get back together?

    1. Well, you are not in a relationship so you are free to date unless you have spoken to you ex otherwise and decided to remain committed. What does you ex think about it ? Is he not going to date anyone else too?

  12. I’m 16 and yesterday I was playing truth or dare with my friends Isaac and Evie, as well as Isaac’s sister. We were allowed to ask any question and do any dare, so long as if it involved another person they consented to do it. The forfeit for not doing a dare is kissing the person who dared you. Like me, Isaac talks to himself, and I heard him whisper “don’t ask if I like anyone” under his breath. Obviously, I was interested in who this person was (and sort of hoping it was me) so I asked him. Before he answered, the others left the room to get drinks and he told me that it was me. Great, except he already has a girlfriend. He knew that a few weeks ago I had been dared to eat paper and hated it, so when he got to dare me, he told me to do it agai, knowing I would refuse. As I said before, the forfeit was a kiss. Once the game was finished, he told me he enjoyed it a lot, although he was embarrassed to admit it. I feel really guilty that I’ve made him into a cheat, but does it really count if it was only truth or dare?

    1. Turn the table and put yourself in his gf’s shoes – what would you feel if your bf did the same. She might never know but it is for you to know the answer. Whenever you have a doubt if you are doing something right or wrong always put yourself in the other persons shoes and you will know the answer. Personally if you ask me , it was a choice you made knowing he was in a relationship. You could have easily said no. – so what if it is a game. Now that it is done you should make your boundaries clear with the guy and tell him how you feel and that you wouldn’t want to involve yourself with someone already in a relationship

  13. Hey, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8months.I really love him, but he can be really annoying at times, and his sense of humor is pretty great but he can be really frustrating , in the sense that he doesn’t know when to just stop laughing or making fun of things. And he can’t take a hint at all…I could be angry for a whole day and he’ll just think I’m ignoring him and he’ll do the same without even asking what’s bothering me..also he can go for months without texting or checking up on me which is really sad because at times it seems like he doesn’t check up on me because I don’t, without knowing the reason why I’m not checking up on him..at times he makes me feel like I’m in a relationship with myself…..but some days he’s really loving and caring….I really don’t know what to do…I really need an reply

    1. hi Hera, have you spoken about this to him ? Any relationship is only successful when you can have a clear communication with your partner. if you haven’t, you should consider having a conversation with him. Tell him what you feel and see what he has to say.Perhaps he doesn’t even know what you are feeling. If you have had the conversation and he still doesn’t care , then you should think if this is something you can live with.

  14. Me and my husband have been together 10+ years..married for 3. We have a 6 year old son and I thought we were happy. Before we had our son he cheated on me many times. I forgave him because we were young and I thought he was just being young and stupid. I also didn’t want to be without him because our relationship was always fun and he was good to me other than the cheating. Eventually we broke up for awhile, I knew I deserved better. I moved out and got my own place. 4 months later he comes back saying he wants to be with only me and he’s ready to commit forever. I was still in love with him and I took him back. 9 months later we had our son. In my eyes other than a few mishaps life has been great since then. I would find out that he talked to other women that he knows on the phone here and there and I always shut it down because of our past. He promised he didn’t know something so small would hurt me and he’s so sorry and it won’t happen again. I trusted that he stopped. I just found out that not only was my husband still communicating with women on the phone, but he has been going out and getting drunk when he is out of town for work. Once I confronted him about it he admitted it and admitted that he has been taking his wedding ring off whenever he sees this one girl. He said he hasn’t slept with her and that he’s only known her two weeks. He said he has been in her apartment for drinks and watching tv with his arm around her, sometimes with a group and sometimes alone and that he kissed her good night one night. That was it for me. Right now I can’t feel any emotion towards him. I feel numb. He says he has a problem and he wants to go to counseling. He said he will do anything to keep me. I know I took vows before God to fight for my marriage but I don’t know if I will ever look at him the same. I forgave him before but we are MARRIED now and this is just the ultimate betrayal. And then there’s my son. He is so in love with our family life. I don’t want to break his heart. Help me please. I am broken.

  15. I am from CANADA, i and my husband has been separated for 3 months now, he was the love of my life and the father of my 4 kids. He went out with another lady. I tried to get him back but nothing worked, I was so frustrated seeing all effort becoming waste, i was so lucky i heard about Robinson buckler from the someone. I’m so happy he was the final solution to the problem i have been fighting for almost 3 months now. I will as well like all those who are having problems such as relationship issues, fertility problems and financial difficulties or simply you need a promotion in your carrier just contact email:robinson.buckler @ yahoo . com Robinson buckler he will solve your problem with ease withing just 3 days.

  16. hi my name aleesha and im sixteeen and i recently broke up with my parnter because we were having bad problems but then i found out she had made videos of her and her bestfriend making out and she says its not cheating that it was a joke but i feel like she did cheat..i just don’t know anymore ..

  17. One day my friend kirk told one of his friends he had a girl friend and i heard it. Me and kirk have been messing around for while because i told him i liked him and he said he likes me. So he took my into an empty room at school at the end of the day… And we were gonna kiss but i told him what i heard in class and he said that he told his friend he was dating a 23 year old but he was kidding so i believed him and we kissed… But i felt stupid and stopped because i didn’t know if i should believe him because i have trust issues because i have been with him before but right now we are best friends. So the next day we didnt talk at all because he looked upset and i wasnt in a good mood either because of an old friend. But i told my friend about all the stuff between me and kirk and before she left school she told me he l told her he had a girl friend and he showed her a picture so i went uo to him and called him a lying bitch and left… I cried to be honest but it was because i was upset that he lied to me and i did what i did. Does this make me a hoe?? What do i do now??

  18. My husband and father of our 2 kids has been secretly meeting with a female that he had been talking to on Facebook and has gone out several times with! HE swears that nothing sexual happened but the fact that he went out of his way to go out with her and lie to me about it makes his “I didn’t sleep with her” less believable.

  19. I have been dating this guy for about two months and I already know that I am madly in love with him. But about two weeks ago I kissed one of mine and his friends. I have no idea why I did it. I don’t even like him. He said that he would talk to me about it and try and work it out which is good and we did talk about it a couple days ago, but this morning I asked if we were good and he said how do you expect us to be okay after something like this. I don’t want to loose him I had no intention to hurt him and I feel awful about it. I have no idea what to do so I can have a second chance. Please help, I need him.

    1. In all honesty, you don’t deserve him. You made him feel like trash, you shattered his trust, you’ve hurt him in a way not many would recover from, you’ve even potentially broken him as a man. However, if he is willing, and you are absolutely genuine and sincere that you are sorry, and you can give him a solid reason to believe it will never happen again, I’m hopeful he can try to work things out. But just know if he does, you are the luckiest girl in the world, because your dating an all star like him.

  20. its a really nice website,i have an issue i have dated this guy for 5 month and we broke up reason unknown he said he doesnt trust me and also he loves someone else, then he came back asking for a kiss not a relationship and also he is still with her i feel its not right even if i want him back i just dont no what to do

  21. Hi, while surfing through i came by this article, so my situation is quite complex there’s this girl i have known for 9 months now initially we hit it off and then she started dating this guy. Seeing no other option i became best friends with her and went my own way but on new years we were together and under the influence of alcohol we kissed 3 times and i realized that i deeply loved and i have confessed to her. She is attracted to me as well and we have kissed 3 more times on different occasions. . I really want to be with her and we have grown really close but she’s still in a relationship with the other guy. What should I do ?

    1. You don’t want to be an option for anybody. If she really loves you, she will be with you. If she isn’t, she perhaps doesn’t consider you a priority. It’s best to have this frank conversation with her and ask her to make a decision. If she can’t, it is best you move on and find somebody who considers you their only option.

  22. Hiii…

    I made a mistske. My gf didnt like lip kisses but she was comfortable with casual kissings. I told her that i want to have lip kiss. But she always refused. I just wanted it in playful manner. But my desire was increased day by day. And i did that . She was very angry with me and said that i broke her trust . I really didn’t had any bad intentions. I love her very much. I always do something that makes her angry. But this one was very bad. Now she don’t trust me anymore. What should i do now ????
    Plzzz… help me…

  23. Hi…I’m 20 year old girl…..I have been committed to a boy since 6 month…At very first he had jst fallen for me as he was physically attracted n after kiss he left me…I cried n asked him never do dis again to a girl without knowing dat he much she loves u…He felt sorry n after some day he proposed me…I really loved him n accepted him we were having great tym BT after a six month now he asked me dat could he go for a coffee with his friend n he had made friendship with dat girl just the last day…I allowed him bcz I trusted him….Next day was his birthday I celebrated​ d best way I could n he started crying I felt he had done smthing wrong I asked him a lot n after 2 days he accepted that he had hot intimated with that girl to a extent but NW he is guilty for day I forgave him….We r going fine but in my mind I always get picture of my boy friend n day girl…If he touches me I feel dat may b d way he must have touched day girl…..I m dying from inside n loves him more Dan nythingh I have loved in my life….What should I do plzzzz help me… Please.. Please… Please

  24. I have a direct question. If I’m in a relationship with some one I haven’t met yet and we plan on being together in May and I have sex with some one else is this concerned cheating on the man I haven’t even met yet??

    1. yes that’s cheating are you stupid? online relationships are still relationships, and having sex with another man in an irl relationship counts as cheating, so it also counts as cheating during an online relationship. If you really loved this guy you wouldn’t even ask or consider this.

  25. I have a direct question. If I’m in a relationship with some one I haven’t met yet and we plan on being together in May and I have sex with some one else is this concerned cheating on the man I haven’t even met yet?? I don’t wanna do this


  26. Your comment is awaiting moderation…

    I have a direct question. If I’m in a relationship with some one I haven’t met yet and we plan on being together in july. and If i have sex with some one else is this concerned cheating on the man I haven’t even met yet?? I don’t wanna do this with this other person if its concerned cheating.

  27. My wife and I have been married for years now. She went to a club and kissed another guy. She told me later, and tbh I’m not offended or insulted. And likely wouldn’t care if it happened again. We love each other immensely and it’s not something to be concerned about.

    Learn to forgive and move on. Life is short.

  28. I recently saw a testimony about this spell caster, before that, i and my Husband married for 8 months but he departed from me because he fell in love with someone else, I was so hurt and depressed. so a friend suggested the idea of contacting a spell caster, which I never thought of myself. after i contacted dr.mac@yahoo. com for help. I asked him to do a love spell for me so that my Husband can come back to me, but before the spell was done, I was a bit skeptical about his capacity to bring my man back to me. Only 3 days after the spell was actually cast, my Husband returned to me and since then, it seems that there is no more mistrust and no more lies between us. He doesn’t cheat on me. Also, I feel no heartache anymore For that reason I will never forget the good Dr Mack did for me, there is no word to say how grateful I am, I am gladly leaving a testimonial on this page,
    Country: England

  29. I kissed someone while in a year long relationship. It was a complete mistake, and I called my partner about 8 minutes after it happened, apologizing and saying how much I loved them and how I’d never hurt them again. The person I kissed was a very old friend who had been crushing on me for a while. I told my partner that I would try to stay away from that person, since it made my partner uncomfortable when we were together, which I totally understand. It was inevitable that I would see them again though, since we ran in the same circles, but every time I did, my partner would blow up at me and call me out for “lying” and “going behind their back”, even though I would always tell them when I would see that person. I thought we had worked through it, but a month ago, they broke up with me. Almost a year had passed since the horrible kiss, and I had done everything I could to gain their trust back and make it up to them. Yet when I asked why they were breaking up with me, they said that ever since then, I couldn’t be trusted. I have no idea how to react to that. We’d been through so much since then, and I thought that this issue wasn’t on the table anymore. Any suggestions on how to address this issue with my ex in hopes of gaining their trust back and getting back together?

  30. I’m 35, have been with my wife for almost 12 years, and married for nearly 6 years. We have a 3.5 year old and a 10 month old. She started at a new job about 1.5 years ago working with any young professionals (people in the their 20s and 30s). There was one woman she told me about that was in an open relationship with her husband. One day she attended a 4/20 party at their house. After the party she told me the woman had come on to her. I didn’t think too much of it but my wife has been attending regular happy hours once a week with a group of people from work that included this woman. Last week she was supposed to go to karaoke with a group of female colleagues but the organizer cancelled the event so they did happy hour instead (the woman from work was present). The next day her, the woman, and a group of female colleagues went to to see the new Wonder Woman movie. She gave the woman a ride home. The day after that we had a BBQ/ party at our home for my wife’s colleagues to celebrate the completion of a big project. The woman attended with her husband and son. My wife had been drinking during the party and near the end of her night she went in to our bedroom I’m assuming to check on our 10 month old son who was asleep. The woman followed her in and kissed my wife, and my wife kissed her back. My wife stated it was a brief kiss, but she is attracted to the woman. After she told me I asked her if she is okay with me kissing other women while I’m out and she said yes (which I know is a lie). This made me very angry and I sarcastically said “I guess I need to start making out with more women then” and stormed out of our bedroom. She felt the kiss wasn’t a big deal. I feel it is as kissing is reserved for your significant other in a committed relationship. Granted it isn’t on the same level as sex but it is still cheating. I told this to her, told her she can no longer be friends with the woman or attend work events that the woman attends, and that if I see the woman in person I will embarass her in front of whomever is around. I told my wife that I forgive her but if something like this happens again I will consider filing for divorce. On the positive side for some reason the whole ordeal has made me want to have extra sex with my wife (our sex life was 2 to 3 times a week but has been daily since the event).

  31. Hi my name is brandt Campbell and i really don’t know if she was cheering by kussing another boy. So i really don’t know what to do be i love her so much and i don’t want to lose her ever but i don’t know what to do so ya can u help and follow me on instgtam @sparten626

  32. So what about when you have a girlfriend, but your ex text you and you answer to say hi but after that you dont answer no more but you and her never had contact on saw each other (when she texted you)…and you dont tell you gf bcus you dont want problems with your gf and your ex….thats the consider cheating the you never told your gf and kept the as a “secret”…..bcus my gf thinks thats cheating

  33. Hey my name is Anthony, ive been with my girlfriend for 3 months now and i got alot of feelings for her. but in the first month we were together i went out with a couple of friends. and they convinced me to go to a strip club after a few drinks (i was also under the influence of some drugs). i wasnt planning on getting any dances or anything like that i was broke and they got me in for free. i was approached by a dancer, i told her i had no money so i didnt want a dance and told her to keep going along with her business. we ended up kissing she put her phone number in my cell but thats as far as it went and i deleted her number after that. its really been bugging me if i should tell her or not. i regretted it as soon as it was done and its still bugging me till now. we are always together and i love this girl and we have a strong connection. ive really been contemplating on telling her or not and im a little lost to what i should do i would really like your opinion and advice on this

  34. We had a get together at our place and his cousin showed up when everyone was hammered and it was past 2am. It was my husband, his cousin, and I at the end of the night. My husband fell asleep but his cousin stayed. Ive been drinking since 8pm to now 4am. I have never ever been disloyal to him but I got comfortable with his cousin as if he was just family but I gave him a shoulder massage as I would do my husband. I stopped. Later his cousin kissed me and I stop him before anything went further and he finally left. I’m punishing myself because I gave him a signal to get his way and I did not think anything of the shoulder massage. My husband and I have been together 7years with two children. He spoke with his cousin and his cousin blamed me for everything. That was not my intentions. I was just too friendly and comfortable to where he thought he could kiss me which I never thought would happen because they are family. I admitted my fault for not thinking about the massage but try to tell him that his cousin wasn’t as drunk as I and why he didn’t go home knowing my husband was asleep. I felt like he took advantage and waited for a signal to throw a pass at me. I pray he forgives me because I’ve never been disloyal to him but now I’m hurting because it happened at all. I pray he can trust me again. I have stopped drinking.

  35. My ex and I were together for Two years, we were very happy to be husband and wife, last month he started acting distant, then he started hanging out with an unknown girl and kept sneaking off to go hangout with her, so i got upset, i could not endure, i tried to do everything to please him but it got worst, one day he left the house and never came back, i tried reaching him but no way i could reach him, because of the heart break he has put me into, i went into search of help but I was scammed several times, but I never relented in my search because I want a happy life with my Man, when i saw testimony about Dr Mack on the internet, i contacted him through his Email Dr_mack@yahoo. com and to my greatest surprise Dr Mack restored my Marriage, my Man came back to me,..

  36. Hi, never would I thought I would be in this position. I have been dating this guy for about 7 months now and he recently just got an internship in another country for a year. He isn’t coming back to visit within this year. When he left I asked what he wanted to do and we both came to terms that we are broken up. Since he has left he wasn’t communicating with me and ignoring my texts and calls for the most part but when he would text me he would still call be babe and tell me he loves me. In this confusion of wanting attention and feeling alone I had a drunken kiss at a party. Now today he apologizes for not trying to communicate and ignoring me and says he will try harder. Should I feel guilty?

  37. Hi my name is summer im 13 my boyfriend kisses a girl on the buss on there way to foot ball practice and told me the day after but told me she kissed him on the cheek and lyed he also told me that he had to sit with her because there were assign seats but there wasnt he chose to sit with her. Every time i tryed to get the truth out of him he got mad and said drop it what do i do i need help i need him hes the love of my life!!!

  38. Dr. Todd, After a long and painful (physically, mentally and emotionally) relationship and then break-up with my ex he continued to haunt me, continued to stalk me in my quest for a new life… even though he had a new woman to torture. I tried the police, they couldn’t keep him away. I turned to friends for protection and they couldn’t help me. I moved, he found me. I had no way out. You were my last resort to make him see and to be done with me and his cruel ways. The stories I have heard of what have happened to him I will no repeat but some have been horrific. He has since left me alone since he now has his own problems to deal with. I have been able to have a life my life without always looking over my shoulder thanks to you. Thank you for giving me my life back. E-mail: manifestspellcast@gmail. com or manifestspellcast@yahoo. com

    ~ Mary Ann

  39. My ex and I are friends now. Like close. Ik we both wanna kiss each other just one last time for whatever reason even tho we don’t like each other like that, it’s complicated. Just a 3 second kiss. But, I am talking to someone right now, would it be cheating if I kissed my ex not meaning anything by it? Or would it still be considered unfaithful? I do not want to be unfaithful to the guy I am talking to because I really like him.

  40. cheating spouses often exhibit noticeable changes in behavior. Catching a cheating spouse may be difficult and even require the use of a private investigator. Private investigators may use personal surveillance techniques, video taping, or photography to obtain proof of the infidelity. In some cases, a private investigator may do a background check on the individual to obtain information of their past. You have to note that not all comment are real most of them are spammers and from what i have been made to understand, this job doesn’t come cheap. In the case of mine I requested for the service of this private investigator (captainspyhacker2*gmail*com ) who helped me gain access to my husband phone remotely using his techniques he did the job with no traces. up to this moment I still monitor his phone because I need a strong proof for divorce. Thanks Captain for this wonderful service you offered me

  41. I was at a work night out out and one of the guys started to flirt with me and got me drinks and all that, we danced and we kissed a few times that night and it was great, we were both having a good time and after he left another girl informed me that he had a girlfriend, I had no idea all night and it’s not the first time a guy has down that to me, the problem this time is they have been in a relationship for about 5 years. We were both drinking but not to the point of like blacking out, I have full memories of the whole night and apparently so does he, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because he’s led me on to the point where I actually quite like him. He’s 6 years older and that doesn’t seem to mean anything to me, I work with him too so it makes it slightly weird. He doesn’t know I know he has a girlfriend and I don’t think he was ever planning on telling me. What the hell do I do now??

  42. I’ve got a somewhat unique situation.

    My wife and I have had some problems, arguing over little things and ultimately fighting over just the fact we’re fighting.

    A year ago I arrived home from a work trip to find my wife and a friend drinking heavily. I went to the quiet guest room to go to bed but could hear them taking loudly. They began talking about cheating and who they’d want to cheat with. I heard my wife emphatically scream out “oh I want xyz to F*** me! Oh I want him to f*** me so hard!”

    I came down angry of course and asked that they be quiet. I told them I could hear it all and if that’s what they’re taking about, to go talk about that elsewhere. They both got upset and then my wife continued on screaming it for an hour after I went back to bed. I even heard her tell her friend that something in her new tattoo represented this guy.

    Needless to say it hurt and my trust diminished.

    Six months later we’re having beers at another couple’s house. My wife became intoxicated and was asking her friends fincee to take his pants and shirt off. She thinks it’s an innocent funny thing to say, but I don’t. Especially when she’s telling him, right in front of me, that he should go inside with her and she’d take her shirt off too if he would. I told her that was uncool and hurtful but she got mad at me for saying so. I decided to walk away and go sleep in their guest room. Many hours later I wake up at 3:30 am to find she hasn’t come to bed so I get up to investigate.

    I walk into the living room finding my wife laying on the couch making out, not with him, but his fiancee who’s her female friend. They didn’t even notice me standing three feet away watching. I went back to the bedroom nut knowing what to do. I grabbed my phone and turned in the flash taking a picture to startle them. It did. But in the end I’m the one being blamed for taking a picture. I’m told it’s nuts a big deal, they’re only friends, I shouldn’t be mad, that it’s different because they’re girls etc.

    I was hurt. I’m still hurt. I don’t trust her (not to mention the nights she goes silent and doesn’t return home, and I don’t know what she’s up to). She talks about things I’ve done to hurt her, but when I bring up how those things she’s done have hurt me, she gets upset that I can’t let it go.

    Things aren’t good with us (currently separated) and I don’t know what to do.

  43. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and together almost 8. Years and years ago my sister was over here and we were drunk. I went to bed and he kissed her and said he loved her he said he doesn’t remember. I forgave him and all has been good. A couple of weekends ago I went to a hotel with my sister and her friend we were drinking and her friend kissed me I backed off and said I’m married what are you doing. I came home the next day and told my husband it happened he didn’t say much. So this morning he brought it up blew it up in my face that I cheated on him. Yes I am a horrible person for doing this yes I realize I made a mistake and it never should’ve happened. He says he will never trust me again. What am I supposed to do leave? I’m a piece of shit.

  44. I just want to know this and I want to believe it. My husband told me about what happened 3 weeks ago when e went to a club he was drunk then he went and dance one girl I really close to came to him start dancing next to him or whatever then out of nowhere she pull his head down and kiss him. Like its not make any sense at all cause who does that? That must have dance dirty or they were flirting first . I just want to know cause I’m Not buying it. He says that’s the truth she pull him down and kiss him without saying anything. I just want to know we’re they talking first ? Pls I want to hear from someone cause I feel like I just creating things. Or he just lied to me

  45. My husband of 5 years went out for drinks with his friends. He came back with a lipstick on his mouth and some left in our pillow. I confronted him and he said he doesn’t remember doing it, and he is sorry and regretfully. He is generally a good man and a good father to my kids. We had a wonderful marriage and a loving home before this. I find it difficult to come into terms with the fact that he kissed someone else. I love him and i think it was a mistake. What do i do.

  46. I have been rejected by my husband of 4years,it hurts so much been nelegect all the time, I confronted my husband and he say it’s not working and needs a divorce.. I felt depressed and needed solution cause I love him so much. I went online for solution or counseling, when I stumbled on a testimonial page. People with similar problem as mine. I was lucky a lady left an email for me to contact, I took a bold step cause I was so depressed and feel like dying.. I contacted this great man, dr abaka, who prayed for me and assured me of my husband return to my arms with 48hrs of his spell prayer, behold after that prayer night, my husband came home pleading for my forgiveness, it’s our 2year today together after the prayer and my husband has never changed towards loving me.. contact dr abaka today via email: drabakaspelltemple @ gmail. com God bless.

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