Relationships never have a general rule that works for everyone.Each relationship is different as per the circumstances and the individual.Let see the common rules that in reality might not really be applicable.
1. Myth : Once a cheater always a cheater.Never forgive a cheating partner
Truth : Mostly yes, but not everyone.People make mistakes.As much as cheating is unpardonable, there could be a weak moment in your relationship that might lead to circumstances which are not favourable.Does one weak moment justify throwing away years of love and effort? Depends.Sometimes the cheating partner is indeed regretful.If you see sincere apology and effort to make up and you have had a past history of great trust and love, maybe a couple can opt to forgive each other and start afresh.Some bonds come out even stronger after such experiences as a couple learns to cope together with adversity.They are forced into working and amending the flaws of their relationship for a better future which they would have otherwise ignored.You can tell a sincere person who seeks forgiveness from a person who might break your trust again.
Go with a simple policy : Everyone deserves a second chance not a third because mistakes happen only once and not twice.
2. Myth : There is always a big reason for a divorce.Never date a divorcee
Truth : Of course the reason is big else there would be no divorce.Does that mean a person who is divorced is not capable of being a wonderful partner again? Absolutely not.
Unfortunately divorces are like breaks up except for the legal and societal hassles associated with it.If you are capable of getting into a bad relationship what is the guarantee a marriage can’t be bad.There is no difference between a breakup and a divorce hence it is incorrect to tag the latter with a stigma. Sometimes, it takes few years for a couple to realise their incompatibility and they definitely deserve to find that sync with someone else.There is no harm in dating a divorcee as long as they are already legally divorced else the proceedings could strain your relationship and they are completely dissociated with their ex and past unless of course there are kids involved.That would require a different approach altogether.
However if no kids are involved, there is no harm in dating a divorcee as long as there is complete trust and transparency between the couple.
3. Myth : Less Sex means less love
Truth : With age,familiarity and responsibilities , sex decreases but does that mean love decreases? Definitely not.As per many articles, they key to a successful relationship is good sex.Agreed, but it is not the only key, it is just one of the keys.For a healthy relationship you need intimacy.Intimacy does not only mean sex.It could be hugging,kissing, touching each other or even complimenting each other.Intimacy is anything that brings you closer and makes you feel like one entity rather than two individuals.Sex is just one of the ways to be feel so.
Lack of sex just shows you need to work and put more effort in carving time for each other to re-explore each other.Even if it is awkward, set aside time for it.In the long run it helps but lack of it, in no way indicates lack of love.
4. Myth : Long distance relationships never work
Truth : Long distance is hard, there is no doubt about it.It is better avoided at all cost, but that does not mean long distance relationships do not work.There have been great relationships that have survived despite distance.The key to a long distance relationship is the will to make it work.The second secret is to know when it will end.If you have a long distance relationship whose end you do not know, it could be tough.Knowing that it might end after 2 years or says even four gives you a hope to put efforts in your relationship.
As long as you want the relationship to last and you have had honest and realistic conversation with your partner on figuring out a long term plan to be together, distance can make your relationship more fonder.It also helps to talk to your partner time to time to come up with new and creative ways to be spend time online and make each other feel special despite the distance.
5. Myth : Do not sleep with your ex
Truth : True, do not sleep with your ex but with conditions applied. Sometimes the line between break up and truly being broken up is blur.It is the phase where you have broken up yet you have the hope that you might rekindle back.Sleeping with your ex in that phase can be fruitful as it can lead to two things – 1. You realise how much you missed each other which might lead to a reconciliation 2. You realise you don’t feel the same anymore with your partner as you did sleeping with them previously.You understand something is different this time around and this helps you to move on better.Somtimes you just need to get it out of your system and move on.
Of course, if you have had a bitter break up and you surely know you are not getting back then maybe it is a bad idea to sleep with your ex as it might not let you move on.
6. Myth : Kissing is not cheating
Truth : Any form of intimacy with someone else that should be solely reserved for your partner is cheating.It could be emotional, physical or textual intimacy.Flirting with someone else too for many might be considered cheating.Kissing definitely comes under physical intimacy.
The simple key to this is follow the aged old thumb rule : “Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you”.If you can’t accept your partner kissing,flirting, sleeping,etc with someone else, do not do it to them.If you are ok however, with your partner doing the same, perhaps you are not really in a relationship.
7. Myth : Do not get back with your ex.It never works
Truth : As per research, 40% of the couples who get back with each other have much lesser chances of divorce or breakup than a normal couple.We must understand that the only irrational emotion in the world is ‘love’ and the only way to work this irrational feeling is to have the will to make it work.There are no rules in love.Everything can be ok as long as you want it to.Sometimes couples break up because they are not mature enough to handle a relationship but get back together later when they have the right awareness of the responsibilities needed to be in a relationship.
It is not hard for ex-es to get back with each other.The familiarity, the comfort and the habit makes it very tempting to get back with someone you have already dated.The hard part is sustaining it.Most people that get back with their ex end up breaking up again because they do not know how to handle it.
For those who do know, getting back could be a great idea.It mean less effort in knowing each other since you are already familiar with each other ,less expectations as you already know what you are getting yourself into ,good and bad and re-ignition of spark and chemistry.It is the best combination that could happen to any couple.
The trick to know is , how do you make it work? It is very important to sit with your partner ( ex) when you do decide to start dating again and talk.Talk about all that has happened in the past no matter how awkward it is .Discuss what went wrong and how you can work on it to prevent it from happening again.Work on your flaws you had previously as a couple ,mend it and make your likes and dislikes clear.Most fallouts happened due to lack of proper communication.
As long as you have an honest filled conversation, there is no reason why a past relationship cannot rework between two mature individuals again.
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