You go out on a Friday night dressed in your best with a toss of red lipstick hoping to find some cute guys at your regular club.You get a drink and head to the dance floor.The guy dancing beside you turns towards you.He is cute.You dance, get drinks ,make out and exchange numbers.A few text here and there the next few days but no mention of meeting further and no calls.If he does ask to meet, it is usually on weekend nights ,more like a booty call.No dates and no romance.How many times has this happened to you leaving you wondering whats wrong.Why does he not want to pursue a more meaningful relationship?Why does he not like you more than just in a physical way? Every TGIF starts with trying a new place with a new hope and ends with the same disappointment.
The answer to this is very simple – Clubs are a great place to meet people but not the best place to meet a future boyfriend.
Unlike the contrary belief that clubs are the most suitable places for single people to meet potential partners, it is actually the most demotivating place.People go to clubs to get drunk, enjoy music,dance or hook up.However one must know that many women are wary of men who approach them in club and thus men might find it harder or more intimidating to find the right girl.Men on the other hand tend to tag women who hook up easily as fast.In reality they might be missing on a lot of potential people but unfortunately that is the perception most people carry hence making harder for men and women meeting in a club to take each other in a more serious way.
So if he did not call back, either he was just having fun , he did not take you seriously or he is just the kind who lives on night to night basis.There is a rare chance he lost your number.
So how can you make your clubbing experience more fruitful and ensure you find someone worth hooking up with.
1.Flirt but restrain physical intimacy on the first meeting :
Alcohol tends to make you more sexually vulnerable but if you want that person to call you back, flirt but avoid going back home with him.Depending on how the guy is, it is still ok to make out but restrain anything further.Going back home with a guy unfortunately tends to give an impression that you might be easy.Even though in reality this is a wrong scale of judging as having sex on the first night is totally a personal choice, you might as well avoid any kind of perception if you want to stand out for him.Keep the spice alive and let him want to meet you and woo you to know more.
2.Don’t give your number till he asks :
If he doesn’t ask for your number, don’t ask for his.As much as you may be tempted do not forcibly take or give a number.A man who is interested will find a way to contact you.You can drop hints like lets meet for coffee,etc but do not blatantly ask for any contact details.If he is serious, he will take the initiative.Let him do the work.
3.A drunk guy will not call you back :
If you meet someone sober and then get drunk, he will remember you but if you hook up or flirt with someone already wasted do not expect anything in return
4.Stay away from the “Desparado” :
If you see a guy flirting or grinding with more than one girl before he approaches you, chances are he will lay his hands on anyone who agrees to respond back.He is not a keeper.Move on.
5.Spend your time on the one who shows the below signs:
If a club is often full of creeps, how do you know who is the one you should show interest in.Below are the signs of a man you should care to know further :
- A guy who expresses keenness in knowing more about you by asking questions.He will tend to ignore his group to just talk to you.
- A guy who doesn’t try to be too touchy with you
- A guy who doesn’t expect you to go back home with him
- A guy who buys you at least one drink.It shows chivalry
- A guy who takes your number and texts you or gives you a missed call to ensure you have his contact as well.
- A guy who introduces you to the group he is with
- A guy who is not too pushy in you dancing with him.He gives you your space to decide how further you want to pursue your closeness with him.If you do agree to dance and he starts grinding, it is a red flag that he is there just for fun.
- A guy who does not boast too much about himself or his money
If he is at least 7 of the 8 , he will surely call you back.Anything below than 7 is someone you should not expect anything in return from.
Of course there are exceptions to these but most of these points should help you judge better.Having said that, it is still best to meet in a sober state.A meaningful relationship is created only in a sane environment, an environment where the two individuals who are meeting are not inebriated.It gives them a chance to connect and understand each other.
So if you are looking for more than just fun, try brunch, house parties, joining a language course,gym, sports club, etc.But if you are clubbing then do keep these tips in handy to ensure you are not wasting your time an any Tom, Dick or Harry.
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