So you are in love with this man but not sure if he is the one or your parents are setting you up with a boy and you need to know on what basis should you say, yes he is the man.
Choosing a life partner is a big decision.It is not something you can just get up one fine day and decide to walk out if it does not work out.Family,children,finances, many things are at stake in a marriage hence such decisions must be taken with care.Loving someone is one thing but knowing that person will be there for you in good and bad is another.
People change with time and situation.People change with success and money.People also change with failure.If you are planning to settle down with someone, you need a person who despite all changes will love and care for you the same way he did when he first met you.The expression of love might change with age but the intensity should not.
Before you make the key decision of your life, ask yourself if your life partner has these qualities.He must have all.There is no compromise on either one.
1.He loves you more than he loves himself
Someone rightly said , a relationship is not 50-50.It is 60-40 and it works both way.Both of you must try to give more than the other.The other persons joy and sadness should matter to you.Only when the thought process is unconditional as this, can a relationship go a long way.A person must keep you and the relationship above any ego or selfishness.In short, he must love you more than he loves himself.
2.He knows how to say sorry
Yes, fights are common.Where there is love, there will be shouts and scream.But at the end of the day, if you can keep aside your differences and ego and not feel small to say sorry, your relationship will take a selfless turn.Partners should remember that they are not on different sides but on the same side fighting for the same thing – their common love.Instead of being loggerheads, learn to work together and find a middle ground and this can only come effortlessly if both of you don’t feel tad ashamed to say sorry and makeup.
3.He doesn’t try to change you but make you a better person
We all love being critics and assuming we know best.Often deep into relationships, we tend to try and change our partners to suit our needs.There is nothing wrong in that, as long as you remember, that just because things are not happening your way, does not mean it is always the wrong way.If you are telling your husband that blue looks better on him than green maybe you are right.If your husband is telling you that you need to hit the gym, maybe he too is right.There is no harm in suggesting changes that make you a better and healthier individual esp when it comes from a person who knows you best.What is wrong, is if the intention is to put you down as a person.What is wrong, is, if these changes , change the core you, the very reasons that make you and made him fall in love with you .What is wrong is if you get angry, abusive and impatient when your partner is unable to change despite sincere efforts.
Saying things like ” You need to hit the gym” is fine if it is to motivate you to be fitter and healthier.It is not fine if it is said to bring you down and make you feel ugly.
Understand the intention and accept the fact that dictating change is easy but changing is hard.Work with your partner and not against him/her.
4.He respects your family
This is pretty self explanatory .He doesn’t have to love your family or meet and call them everyday but he needs to maintain a certain respect for them irrespective of his personal feelings for them.This involves basic courtesy , not looking down upon them and not getting into unnecessary bitching about them to others.What is in the family must stay within the family.That is just basic.
5.He has a drive and ambition –
As superficial as it may sound , you need someone who has a drive to do something in life.He doesn’t need to be a richie rich or super successful.Many men have dreams and take time to convert them into reality and you as a spouse need to be with him in that endeavor with full support,patience and encouragement. But at the same time, you need to be practical.Don’t look for money in a life partner, look if he has the vision, ambition and ability to be able to do something in life and support the family he wants along with you.Money will come and go, drive, talent and will will stay.Going for someone with looks who is lazy will not get you anywhere.Love and I mean the serious kind of love unlike the usual saying should not be blind.It should be careful, conscious but faithful and unconditional.
Any relationship is a two-way street.As much as these rules hold true for men, they equally stand strong for women to follow.
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