This is quite a tricky topic and most people might read it and say,’Of course you can be, I am friends with my ex and it is perfectly ok’. True but if you are able to be friends, it’s either because you were never in love when together or you are still in love or you don’t love your current partner the way you should.
Reason 1: Men always harbor some care for the woman they once loved – You need to be wary if your man is very good friends with his ex-gf. It is ok to be cordial but to constantly keep in touch could cause problems later. It is easy for women to hate their ex-es or completely stop keeping in touch. They are very good at blocking their past but men can never hate their ex-es. They always have some care for the woman they once loved. If their ex requests them for help, it is very difficult for them to say no. So why give an opportunity to re-kindle past memories. Why take the risk for past emotions to surface. It is best to leave the past behind.
Reason 2: It provides false hope – Girls often agree to be friend with their ex with the expectation that at least some connection will still remain between them. This leaves a hope within that one day they might reconcile. It’s no different with men. Being in touch with your ex leads to unnecessary hope and lingers the pain. You will not be able to move ahead to find anyone else till that hope is alive. So if you find yourself constantly meeting them for coffee, movie dates and calling them when you have a problem then you are not moving on.
Reason 3: It will always be a cause of insecurity for the other partner – Every relationship comes with its share of problems so why give it another one to add on. You need to focus on the present and see what is more important. Is it worth having your present partner insecure for someone who will never be your future? Sometimes it is hard for us to make our partner understand that our relationship with our ex is pure friendship. This is especially true with women. Very few girls are cool and ok with their men being in regular touch with their ex.So if you want to avoid constant issue and awkward moments in your relationship about your past, you need to work on giving sufficient security and assurance to your partner
Reason 4: You might utter the wrong name – Being in constant touch with your ex keeps the memory of them flowing. Hence there may come situations where you might accidently refer to your present partner by your ex’s name. This especially happens in extreme emotional situations of anger or pleasure. If you stop connecting with your ex with time those memories if not fades gets stored away at the back of your mind and you will hardly recollect your ex giving you a chance to create fresh ones with your current partner.
Reason 5: You might end up being just a back up – Sometimes after a break up, an ex might just use you as a back up to give them company when they are bored till they find someone else. They might constantly ask you for help because they know you won’t say no. You do not want to be just an option for them. Cutting off your ex will cut of situations where they can take advantage of you based on past relationship.
Of course exceptions exist. Ex-es may be friends but that is quite rare. Why take a chance. We have seen many cases where ex-es have gotten back because the love was never lost. If you are in a relationship with someone who refuses to stop being friends with their ex, take a step back and have a frank conversation with your partner as to what the reasons are. Honesty is best in such situations. Express your discomfort in a sensible way and evaluate your partner’s reasons. Know your limitations as well as his before you take any call. If he/she loves you they will be equally sensible to understand your discomfort and insecurity. Any relationship is a give and take and has to be treaded hand in hand.
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Pushpendra Upadhyay says
So it is understood (Proven) that men do still care (After break up) !!! Are these men idiots !!! What they are suppose to do? !!!! God Help Them !!!
Intelligent Article as a girl perspective !!!! 🙂