Answered Exclusively by Women
First dates always manages to give you dancing butterflies in your stomach.You are jittery and have tons of question on what to do and what not.We gathered 10 questions that most men wonder in regard to first dates and got 3 girls to answer them straight on.
Please note names have been changed.
Q1 : Who do you expect to pay for the first date.Would you date him again if he asks you to split ?
Jane : The guy of course.It will show me that he really likes me.I could forgive him being bold enough to ask me to split if he is really hot.Not being superficial but what else can compensate for being chivalrous.
Maria : I am a little old school so I would like if the guy pays.In case, I know he is not that well off than I am ok with him asking to split else maybe a second date for me but definitely not a third if he has a pattern of always asking me to pay or split.A girl wants to feel special.
Asha : I am ok with going dutch providing the guy at least offers to pay.I might date him again.Depends on his nature
Conclusion : Women always expect the men to pay not because she can’t afford it but it is a gesture that he can take care of her and likes her.To set your impression well, pay for the first date.Once you are familiar with each other ,depending on your relationship most woman are ok to go dutch.They don’t really expect you to pay all the time and are happy to split.But unless you are Channing Tatum,please pay for the initial dates.
Q2 : Do you expect a man to kiss you after the first date ?
Jane : He should offer.Whether I kiss him or not should be left to me.He shouldn’t take offence to that.
Maria : If the chemistry is right why not.A girl will definitely give signs if she is interested.If not, he should be chivalrous and wait for the right moment.It is all about the timing.
Asha : Most of my friends are ok with kissing after the first date.It should come naturally and a man should pick up cues if she wants it or not.I might wait on till the 2nd or 3rd date where I am sure I definitely like him.
Conclusion : This is tricky.Many women prefer waiting till few dates later to become more intimate with a man.She needs to be sure she likes him.However, if she is giving you the signs like flirting,offering you to come back home with her, meeting again , perhaps you can try to kiss her.Like Jane said, if she refuses, take no offence.If you are unsure of the cues and you really want to take the plunge, you could perhaps just ask her in a flirting way – ” What if I want to kiss you now”.See what she has to say and take it from there.
Q3 : Am I expected to get anything for my her on our first date ?
Jane : No you are not but if you want, we will always like it.
Maria : I wouldn’t expect anything but I would love it if he got me flowers.Women love flowers.
Asha : I don’t expect him to get a gift on the first date.
Conclusion : Women don’t expect much initially and it is perfectly ok to not get anything for her on the first date.In case you do want to get something, don’t be too extravagant else she might term you pompous.Flowers or chocolates are just fine
Q4 : Am I expected to text her after our date?
Jane : Is that even a question?
Maria : Yes of course.I expect him to take the initiative.
Asha : I would assume he doesn’t like me if he doesn’t text me once I reach home.
Conclusion : Men take note.Please text the girl after you drop her to check on her.If you like her, you can be sweet in your message and tell her you are looking forward to meeting again .If you don’t like her, still text and ask her if she reached safely, as a courtesy call.It is basic etiquette.
Q5 : If I don’t like her, what should I do ?
Jane : Just don’t ask to meet anymore.
Maria : Women know a date could be both ways.That does not mean she won’t take offence to you rejecting her.She will probably remember and not like you for the rest of her life.But that is ok.She would rather have you be honest.Just don’t get touchy and flirty with her the next time and show any sort of initiative.Woman are smart to get the point
Asha : Don’t ask her out again.It is as simple as that.A girl would do the same.
Conclusion : If you don’t like her, do not give mix signals.IF you meet her again after your first date, treat her as you would treat any other friend.Don’t flirt, don’t offer to buy her a drink and don’t attempt to be touchy and dance with her.
Q6 : Should I talk about my ex during the date?
Jane : Of course not.I am meeting to know you, not your ex
Maria : Well, if the topic comes up randomly , it is ok to discuss it to a certain limit.But if you keep ranting on why you broke up or how much you miss her, a girl will lose interest in you.
Asha : It is not the best idea to talk about ex-es in detail on the first date
Conclusion : As much as a girl is curious about the girls you have dated, it is not the best idea to talk about it on your first date.Let her get to know you first and understand you before you bring up your past.If you do it on the first date, she might think you are not over you ex yet and will not pursue you further.It is ok to discuss your past to a limit.Often such topics come up but keep it limited.You will have all the time to talk about it later.
Q7 : How does a woman judge a man on the first date ?
Jane : By how he treats me and how much he can make me laugh.Nothing bores a woman more than a dull conversation.
Maria : Most women are pretty open minded on their first date.Personally for me,I would see how much chemistry I have with him both mentally and physically.Can I connect with him and can we talk for an hour without getting bored.
Asha : He should be funny.Should offer to drop me home and flirt.Women always judge a man on how potential he is to be her boyfriend.So he should be confident himself.Nothing is more sexy than being confident yet chivalrous.
Conclusion : Women observe a lot.Perhaps more than you think.First impressions are not the last impression but often an impactful one.Be yourself and be confident.You don’t want to show her a side that you can’t carry off for a long time.Pretence is a big no.When you talk to a girl on the first date, try to know her, ask her about herself, engage with her and make her laugh.Flirt a bit and of course be gentle and chivalrous.
Q8 : What turns a woman off most on the first date ?
Jane : Arrogance.I hate men who boast too much about their status and money
Maria : Hygiene.If he can’t shave for a date, smells or wears slippers, he is not the kind who care much about things in life, forget a girl.
Asha : If he doesn’t see me off or drops me.Shows he doesn’t care much about my safety.Not like I can’t go on my own but such gestures make a girl feel that the guy can protect her.
Conclusion : Different women have different perspective.But in short, be clean,smell good, be funny,don’t boast, be yourself and drop or see her home.
Q9 : What is the one thing woman would love on a first date ?
Jane : To be woo-ed.Flirt with me a little.Praise me a little.
Maria : To talk endlessly without realising the time.That would be a perfect date
Asha : For him to call me after and talk to me, telling me he really enjoyed the date
Conclusion : Women love to communicate.If you like her,tell her.Make her feel special and she will always remember the date.
Q10 : How can I tell if a girl does or does not like me after the first date ?
Jane : She will flirt with you back if she likes you and agree to meeting you again.
Maria : If she doesn’t like you, she will be constantly busy on her phone or try to end the date quickly by giving some excuse.If she likes you, she won’t keep much track of the time.
Asha : Be careful.Friendly does not always mean she likes you.If she does, she will make sure you get the point.She will smile more than usual, flirt and give you her full attention.She will surely say something like how much she enjoyed the date.
Conclusion : The problem most men face is distinguishing between a girl being friendly with you and indeed liking you.The hints are subtle but they are definitely there.The best way to be sure if she likes you is to ask her for a second date.If she says yes, she is interested else she will surely come up with some excuse.
Read our detailed article “How to tell if a girl likes you “ to know if a girl trulyl likes you or not.
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