I found out my boyfriend was talking to his ex, should I confront him?

“Dear Crispy

It has been around 2 years since I have been dating this guy.He is everything I want in a man.But there is something that is bothering me.Recently I bumped into a common friend who told me something that made me realize that my boyfriend was still flirting and keeping in touch with his ex in the first two months of our relationship.It has been more than 2 years since then and I know for sure he is no longer in touch or even wants to keep in touch with anyone in his past.He never hides anything from me not even his phone.We have the perfect life and I know within my heart he is the most committed man I can get.But the fact that he was talking to his ex in the first two months without my knowledge is pinching me.Should I bring it up or should I let it go since everything is great in the present.As much as it is bothering me I feel bringing the past back might unnecessary create fight in our present.What do I do? “

– Ashita, 28

Hi Ashita,

You seem to already know the answer to your question.As a woman I understand how hard it is to keep something that is bothering you to yourself.Confronting your boyfriend with this , venting out and fighting may make you feel better as by doing all this you are looking for assurance and you are hoping that confrontation with your partner will provide you the assurance that you want to hear.But calm down for few minutes and think straight.Is it worth it?

First two months in a relationship is a very casual period.Most men don’t even know what they want from a relationship at that point neither would he be sure how serious you are or what the future holds.Also, it is hard to completely dissociate from your past suddenly when you are not sure of your future.I am not saying that keeping in touch with his ex was right.What I am trying to say is that maybe he talking to her was completely harmless.Fact is today he is with you.Clearly he must have done something right for you to say he is such a great person.He never hides anything from you nor keeps in touch with his ex-es shows that he is now at a stage where it is only about you and when a man is sure about a girl he will do anything to keep her.

If he was still keeping in touch currently,that would be an alarm sign where you would have to confront.But this was two years back and happened at a very initial stage in your relationship.

My personal advice to you would be to let it go.Think about how beautiful your present is.Stop being insecure about past women and be confident.There is a reason why you are his present and he has chosen to be only with you.

If however, it still bothers you to an extent that you are having sleepless nights ,let him know.If he loves you, he will surely understand and assure you.Get it out of your system and make sure you have a calm conversation rather than an accusation.But in my opinion, there is no reason to worry unless he is still in touch with her at this stage of your relationship.


The Crispy Corner

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Also read our article on 5 reasons to reconsider being in touch with your ex 


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